All the things she said... if she could

[cat_77]

Went to a “party” for my grandma’s 80^th birthday yesterday.  About 30-35 of my closest relatives crowded into the “assisted living” place she lives at and we all had brunch there.  Don’t get me started on the uncooked food.  Anyway, there were a few comments that I really wanted to make, but carefully held my tongue so as not to ruin the day for grandma. 

 

I’m getting them all out of my system now.

 

“So, sis, are you going to let your kid have a drink, or do you think he got enough in the womb?”

 

“Oh, so that’s what a non-FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) baby looks like…”

 

“How can you be homophobic?  You’re gay!”

 

“You were divorced how many years ago now?  Let it go.”

 

“So, has your son finished driving you to Bankruptcy, or do you still have a few dollars left?”

 

“I know you smoke, but have you heard of a toothbrush?”

 

Then there’s the always popular, “Shut it, bitch.”

 

Followed by, “No, seriously, shut the fuck up.”

 

You know, I think I feel a bit better now, and I barely scratched the surface…

 

Comments

[johnnym77.livejournal.com]

This is exactly why I steer far away from large family gatherings. Luckily, we haven't had one of those in years.

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

I didn't have much choice - it's my grandma and I'm her "favorite" (which she used to say in front of the others). I may possibly still be her favorite after E and I gave her chocolate and a bottle of Bombay...