cat_77 | Re: CA and Prop 8

My partner and I pretty much decided we will never marry. Even if it were to become legal, we simply don’t feel the need to have some random 3rd party legitimize our relationship. That said, marriage or not, there are some things I would like to have the rights to that tend to come with tying the knot.

I would like the right to be at her bedside if she is ever in the hospital.

I would like the right to decide her care should she not be able to do so herself.

I would like the right to be at the bedside of the children I have helped raise for the past decade should they ever be unfortunate enough to need extended care.

I would like the right to be able to authorize care for them without having to try to get a hold of their mother or biological father first.

I would like to be able to sign off on their health cards at school.

I would like to be able to travel without an affidavit from their father giving me permission to take them with me.

I would like the right to take care of them and continue to raise them if their mother died.

I would like the right to be considered a mother in the eyes of the law.

These are rights currently denied to me and I have to ask, why? What is so offensive about me wanting to take care of the people that I love and the people I consider my family? What is the great influence that any of this has on your daily life that would cause you to say no, I don’t deserve this? Why should my gender matter?

This is not a matter of marriage. This is a matter of rights.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Amen to all of the above. Speaking as a slash-writing divorcee who is about THE straightest person on the planet when it comes to my own proclivities:

I absolutely NEVER want to marry again. Ever. But I think that marriage should absolutely be a choice for every couple out there, regardless of the genders involved. Call the ceremony a civil union if you like, but give everyone that option.

The thing that gets me is that, for several states, in their zen to make sure they block gay rights, they are taking away the same rights from het couples who just happen to not be married. They still live together and raise their kids together, but never got a little certificate to say, "Go you! We accept you!"

We are lucky enough to have domestic partner benefits at work for insurance. A few years ago, one of the managers had to explain to a new girl that this meant that yes, her benefits did apply to the father of her child who stayed at home during the day to take care of the baby while she worked. She was so shocked she damn near cried.

This post gets to the heart of the matter. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with any of this. No one should be denied their rights because of who they love. The things I take for granted are the very ones you long for. It's made me thankful for what I have.

I don't understand what makes some people feel that gender decides who can and can't be together or who can and can't raise a family. I don't have the answers. I can only hope that people will open their eyes and their hearts and see the truth standing in front of them.

It's frustrating. In my mind, I truly cannot see how the supposed separation of church and state can allow this. It's religious groups trying to block it but there is nothing in the constitution that says it's illegal. Unfortunately, state by state, it's going to become an issue until it reaches the Supreme Court and, quite frankly, I don't know how long that will take or how much it will cost. All I know is it should be completely unnecessary.

This is all about the fear religious groups have over losing power, power over their followers and over society. I don't know how many times we can say to them that we don't want to take over their churches, they won't listen. These people are so afraid that they're "specialness" will be taken away. They're so insecure that they have to make sure there's always someone to look down upon so they can feel better about themselves.

I'm waiting for the reaction from Ellen. If people thought she cried when they took the dog away, imagine what will happen when they take her marriage away.

That had better make it to You Tube, that's all I'm saying.

[See, I avoided saying that Portia is more than a bit of tail to her, aren't you proud?]

I just really don't get how not letting someone who has raised a child be able to have a say in their care is a threat to the sanctity of an act that can be performed by Elvis impersonators at a drive thru.

Margaret Cho says that there needs to be some very creative activism behind the push for gay marriage. Like all the wedding planners have to go on strike: "If I can't get married, YOU can't get married! Fine. Go ahead. TRY to do your own make-up. Oh, boo hoo, who needs a floral arrangement NOW?"

This made me smile for the first time all morning. :)

Nothing irritates me more right now than the Mormons, who spent millions of dollars on the Prop 8 movement. Um, don't you Mormons believe that no marriage can be an eternal one if it isn't performed within one of your temples? And don't you, as a religious institution, have the right to refuse religious services to someone for religious and philosophical reasons--including Mormons you don't deem "worthy" enough? So how--exactly--does the right for gay couples to be able to file joint tax returns and care for their children affect YOUR CHURCH?!

/rant

Back in high school, two very good friends were Mormons and they were nothing like the supposed driving force behind this. I'm suspecting that, much like many religions/acts/movements, there are people who are fine with things the way they are and people who go apeshit over controlling those very same things. No one single group or movement should be able to say what every other group or movement should be allowed to do. Not to mention that separation of church and state is supposed to exist for a reason for pretty much this same reason.

Blech. I'm babbling and not getting out what I mean fully, so I'll stop now. Basically: a few sucky people want to make it suck for the rest of us and somehow found a way to convince others that no, really, sucking is good! Try it and you'll like it!

One theory is that the Mormons are trying to get over evagelical sects like the Baptists to take them seriously as a cultural force. They backed Prop 8 with the intent of showing how much influence they have on real world politics, much like how over evangelical groups comandeer other debates like abortion. Most other Christian groups, even mainstream ones, look down upon some of the more...particular beliefs of the Mormon church, and the Mormons are trying to show how relevant they are.

As one commentator said, you'd think that a group of people whose history is marked by suffering through hatred, discrimination, and exile would sympathize with the plight of gays denied their civil rights.

As one commentator said, you'd think that a group of people whose history is marked by suffering through hatred, discrimination, and exile would sympathize with the plight of gays denied their civil rights.

If that were true, then Israel would grant citizenship rights to the Palestinians...

Re: CA and Prop 8

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