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Highlander: The Source
Watched this thing tonight. Yeah. That's all there really is to say about it.
Oh yeah, and quote of the night:
Me: [9 year old son], time to go upstairs. Your parents have just decided this movie's going to be too violent for you.
9 year old son: Why? All they are going to do is rip off each other's heads...
Me: Honey, you had nightmares from watching Pokemon...
Synopsis:
- Duncan has found yet another chick but, as always, something gets screwed up and he can't be with her. Instead, he goes all vigilante... for some honor crap... again... for another time...
- Methos is apparently hanging around with a bunch of red shirts and looking into some myth about the source [ and no, I'm not going to capitalize it] of their immortality.
- Duncan's chick has visions about this mystical crap.
- Some bad comic book/video game action sequences later, and we're down one red shirt and chick sneaks up on the remaining heros without the trained warriors noticing.
- Some more mystical crap and a few prophesies later, and they're on their way, of course.
- Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie kills Joe with Duncan's sword after snapping it in half so the replica places can make new "Broken Katana" (tm) sales.
- Joe tells Duncan he should be the final immortal in front of Methos and the red shirts. Then dies.
- Somehow they end up going to an island of canibals - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- While Duncan and chick have sex in the woods, another one of the red shirts is sliced and diced by Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie. But wait, he's immortal, so he'll be okay. But wait, the prophesy says the immortals lose that whole immortality thing, so he's not. But wait, this means chick was in the back seat with a dead guy for how long?
- Duncan, Methos, chick, and the remaining red shirt are captured by the canibals - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- The canibals decide they need to eat them like right now, during some big party, even though they still have several perfectly good bodies to munch on - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie rescues chick as she is important to the prophesy.
- Remaining red shirt, of the Uber Christian variety, frees himself and leaves the others to die saying god chose him and all that crap.
- The others free themselves.
- The others see Uber Christian red shirt surrounded by canibals. Methos wants to leave him. Duncan, of course, cannot.
- This somehow convinces Methos that the world's oldest living immortal should sacrifice himself to the canibals so Duncan can win the prize - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- Fan fic writers boot up their lap tops to fix it so Methos survives in a myriad of ways, including the Death on Horseback cliche.
- Uber Christian red shirt thinks he sees god and the source [still not capitalizing it]. Turns out it's Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie and he get's killed.
- Ducan finds chick all bathed in light under a convergence of planets that if they were really that large would mean our entire solar system would blow from the chain reaction of everything leaving their orbits.
- Duncan fights Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie to try to get to chick. He uses his new nifty knives that will be available from your nearest replica shop shortly.
- The camera man can't tell if he's filming a movie, a video game, or having a seizure.
- Duncan wins, of course, but can't bring himself to kill Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie, of course.
- Turns out that's the secret of the source [still not capitalizing it] and it makes chick be bathed in even more light and have braids in her hair.
- Really bad flashback/recap of the entire movie in case you forgot.
- They have sex.
- Duncan's a daddy.
- The source of the immortals immortality is never actually revealed and it's never explicitly stated that there are no more immortals and it is just as likely that everyone who was immortal got their immortality back as long as they weren't more than mostly dead. Basically, they leave it open for more sequels and more re-writing of backstory and cannon.
- There's also random music video moments and scenes with the music trying to emote more than the actors, but we're all used to that by now, so I didn't mention them individually.
- It's worse than you think.
- Duncan has found yet another chick but, as always, something gets screwed up and he can't be with her. Instead, he goes all vigilante... for some honor crap... again... for another time...
- Methos is apparently hanging around with a bunch of red shirts and looking into some myth about the source [ and no, I'm not going to capitalize it] of their immortality.
- Duncan's chick has visions about this mystical crap.
- Some bad comic book/video game action sequences later, and we're down one red shirt and chick sneaks up on the remaining heros without the trained warriors noticing.
- Some more mystical crap and a few prophesies later, and they're on their way, of course.
- Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie kills Joe with Duncan's sword after snapping it in half so the replica places can make new "Broken Katana" (tm) sales.
- Joe tells Duncan he should be the final immortal in front of Methos and the red shirts. Then dies.
- Somehow they end up going to an island of canibals - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- While Duncan and chick have sex in the woods, another one of the red shirts is sliced and diced by Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie. But wait, he's immortal, so he'll be okay. But wait, the prophesy says the immortals lose that whole immortality thing, so he's not. But wait, this means chick was in the back seat with a dead guy for how long?
- Duncan, Methos, chick, and the remaining red shirt are captured by the canibals - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- The canibals decide they need to eat them like right now, during some big party, even though they still have several perfectly good bodies to munch on - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- Bad Evil Guy of the Week/Movie rescues chick as she is important to the prophesy.
- Remaining red shirt, of the Uber Christian variety, frees himself and leaves the others to die saying god chose him and all that crap.
- The others free themselves.
- The others see Uber Christian red shirt surrounded by canibals. Methos wants to leave him. Duncan, of course, cannot.
- This somehow convinces Methos that the world's oldest living immortal should sacrifice himself to the canibals so Duncan can win the prize - don't ask, it's worse than you think.
- Fan fic writers boot up their lap tops to fix it so Methos survives in a myriad of ways, including the Death on Horseback cliche.
- Uber Christian red shirt thinks he sees god and the source [still not capitalizing it]. Turns out it's Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie and he get's killed.
- Ducan finds chick all bathed in light under a convergence of planets that if they were really that large would mean our entire solar system would blow from the chain reaction of everything leaving their orbits.
- Duncan fights Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie to try to get to chick. He uses his new nifty knives that will be available from your nearest replica shop shortly.
- The camera man can't tell if he's filming a movie, a video game, or having a seizure.
- Duncan wins, of course, but can't bring himself to kill Evil Bad Guy of the Week/Movie, of course.
- Turns out that's the secret of the source [still not capitalizing it] and it makes chick be bathed in even more light and have braids in her hair.
- Really bad flashback/recap of the entire movie in case you forgot.
- They have sex.
- Duncan's a daddy.
- The source of the immortals immortality is never actually revealed and it's never explicitly stated that there are no more immortals and it is just as likely that everyone who was immortal got their immortality back as long as they weren't more than mostly dead. Basically, they leave it open for more sequels and more re-writing of backstory and cannon.
- There's also random music video moments and scenes with the music trying to emote more than the actors, but we're all used to that by now, so I didn't mention them individually.
- It's worse than you think.
Oh yeah, and quote of the night:
Me: [9 year old son], time to go upstairs. Your parents have just decided this movie's going to be too violent for you.
9 year old son: Why? All they are going to do is rip off each other's heads...
Me: Honey, you had nightmares from watching Pokemon...