John's Concussion Induced Dream and What Went Wrong

[cat_77]

Per threnodyjones's request, I was supposed to add this to my fic round up. It was originally posted here. I'm also supposed to continue it, but am currently brain dead from my accounts here at work. Anyone want to jump in?

Reposting it here for archiving purposes because you all know I'll forget where I put it otherwise:

Title: John's Concussion Induced Dream and What Went Wrong
Spoilers: Um, everything?
Premise: It's not that the plot and storytelling got screwed up the past few years, it's just that it's all been a horrific, concussion induced dream.
Notes: I need a drink.
Disclaimer: The usual.

Er, needless to say, spoilers for the last ep...


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John's Concussion Induced Dream and What Went Wrong:

- Robots are cool, until they try to kill you all. Then you have to think up ways to escape them time and time again. Eventually, that gets old and you try to come up with new enemies. This gets harder as you use up all the stuff you've seen before.

- Fearing he's not allowed to be gay, even when light years away from his superior officers, he dreams that Teyla is pregnant in an attempt to come up with a "family" scenario. Unfortunately, some of his high school biology sinks in and he remembers you need both a man and a woman for that to happen, and that he can't touch her or both she and Rodney will kick his ass, so he comes up with a convoluted boyfriend for her. Said boyfriend is, of course, a mutant because you can't have him blocking the familial bliss, until he realizes kids need parents and then he'd need to make the mutant better but maybe he could find a bad guy to throw into the mix so he could rush and save the day?

- His unconscious tried to tell him he's missing something important but he accidentally goes on a tangent that Teyla, and therefore his happy family-type thing that's not his family but close to his family because he can totally borrow it on the weekends, is missing something, like an entire settlement - oops!

- He has trouble concentrating and/or is trying to send himself a message that it's all a dream, so he keeps changing who's in charge of the city. Had it gone on for another season, it would have been Doctor Lee.

- Rodney keeps trying to talk to him to get him out of his coma-like state, but so does the new doctor as she runs her tests and somehow that gets convoluted into the two of them together and him left on the sidelines again because he secretly has low self-esteem and most of these issues could have been resolved it he just got over it already.

- He keeps torturing/killing Ronon because his mind has made the connection between Ronon's last name being Dex, and his friend Dex that died in Afghanistan but appeared to him in his last fake vision thingy.

- They make it to Earth because he thinks Earth = Home, until he runs into the fake Dex guy again and realizes it was all a horrible dream and he runs back to a fading Atlantis, reaching it just in time before it's buried in the sand dunes of Antarctica (he never was good at geography), and finally wakes up, safe and sound in Atlantis.

When he tells Rodney about all these horrible dreams, McKay slaps him upside the head, lovingly calls him a doofus, and then they make out a lot.

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Your turn. :)

Comments

[threnodyjones.livejournal.com]

Oooh, oooh!

Everybody stopped listening to him complaining about the spiderwebs in his room when they first arrived, which led to him being worried about being bitten by a spider in the middle of the night. Because he'd started hanging out with McKay, his unconscious naturally transferred McKay's allergy paranoia to him, creating the Iratus bug biting him on the neck and sucking out his life slowly enough that he could be helped (because he wouldn't want to *actually* die).

His continued association with Rodney led to meeting Radek, which ultimately led to his unconscious turning John into a bug because Radek is Czech and so was Kafka (kinda).

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

How about:
He's always searching for the perfect "someone" that, you know, being perfect and all, would make everyone happy including his extremely picky parents. What with being gay and fearing they won't accept that, he dreams up the perfect woman who's all mystical (because he doesn't know the first thing about real women) and defensive of her people (because blowing shit up is cool) and can't stay with him (because that way he doesn't actually have to be around a girl with girl germs all the time) and is secretly all glowy and not really human because that way he can swear he had sex with her but respond to people that say, er, no, it doesn't work that way, that it's different with glowy squid people.

[threnodyjones.livejournal.com]

Being desperate, his mind harkens back to his halcyon days of youth, the simple days of which he longs to return to. However, because he never settled things with his father, and his mother is a distant memory, he gets caught up in a 'lost boys' scenario. Even his unconscious can't get over the fact that he's rapidly nearing 40, however, and in the resulting dichotomous schism the lost boys of his youth start trying to kill him.

As it becomes further evident that he will never be able to go back to the days when the only girls he had to interact with were five years old and militant, the wraith are introduced (because growing old is that much more inevitable).

I can't write these nearly as well as you can...

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

Let go of that grasp of logic you have and stick to reasoning, no matter how cracked out - it makes it easier. *g*

[threnodyjones.livejournal.com]

Heh. Personally I thought my Kafka-Radek-bug thing was inspired. *pats myself on back*

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

To be fair, it was clever, and did make E giggle. :)

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

He knows his secret love for Rodney could destroy his career and risk both of them, so he tries to make Rodney evil and single-minded and uncaring, but his own drive towards potential self-destruction manifests itself as a more physical destruction of the biggest thing he can think of (and no, that awesome turkey sandwich doesn't count) and thus Rodney blows up the majority of a solar system [insert comment about how its lack of total destruction reflects John's hidden hope of survival].