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SGA - Deal
I may have possibly mis-set my workload at work and, instead of working ahead with my first slow day in months, decided to work on fic instead.
Title: Deal
Genre: SGA, Gen
Rating: PG
Season/Spoilers: Ronon’s in it.
Synopsis: Sheppard cleared his throat and resignedly looked exactly two feet to the right of her shoulder as he repeated, “We accidentally sold McKay into slavery.”
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, people with a lot of money do. I was just borrowing them to play and making no profit off the experience.
~~~~~~~~~~
“You did what?” Weir asked, doubt and weariness fighting with incredulousness in her tone.
Sheppard cleared his throat and resignedly looked exactly two feet to the right of her shoulder as he repeated, “We accidentally sold McKay into slavery.”
He kind of wished he had a camera to record her stunned look, not to mention the babble of half-formed words that followed until she finally managed a choked, “How?”
“We may have, er, misunderstood some of their customs, and possibly language,” John deterred.
“And this led to slavery?” Weir asked, eyes huge. If it weren’t for the fact this was technically an official briefing, he would have offered her a drink.
“We got him back!” John said defensively.
“They even gave us a discount,” Ronon chimed in.
“Not helping,” Sheppard whispered out of the corner of his mouth.
His teammate simply shrugged. “Sorry.”
“Do I even want to know what you had to do to get him back?” Elizabeth asked, holding her head in her hands.
“Actually, that part was easy,” John said cheerily. “We gave them their pretty stones back along with the sample supplies we were going to give them anyway to start up trade negotiations and plans for a possible irrigation system.”
“I drew that,” Ronon said with a nod.
The hands now covered her eyes. “And they bought it?”
“Told ‘em it was a rough draft and that we would be willing to negotiate for something better,” he shrugged.
“It was about that time that the head slave-person-thingy came in to see if we would take Rodney back,” Sheppard added, trying to steer the conversation back to what they had done right during the mission.
“Take him back?” Weir asked, lifting her head slightly to look over at them. “What did he do?” From the look on her face, she was expecting everything from begging to an inter-planetary incident.
Sheppard smiled and, eerily, so did Ronon. “Apparently the good Doctor McKay makes a terrible house slave, ordering everyone else around to do his bidding and complaining about his special food needs and such.”
“He thought everyone else was being given to him,” Ronon clarified, grin growing wider.
“So, Rodney...”
“Is perfectly fine,” John assured her.
“And he’s still in the infirmary because...?”
“Carson is stalling to give us a chance to tell you what happened,” he explained.
“And Rodney...?”
“Has no idea he was pretty much sold into slavery,” Ronon confirmed.
“We’d kind of like to keep it that way,” John winced. At her disbelieving look, he reasoned, “He thinks he was being honored with a temporary staff to see to his needs. You really want us to tell him he was actually a slave and have him hold that over our heads for the next six years?”
The corner of Elizabeth’s mouth twitched as she pointed out, “It wouldn’t be my head he’d be holding it over.”
“You think he’s going to limit it to us?” Ronon asked. “The whole city’s in for it if he finds out.”
She raised her eyebrows, seeing the truth to his words. “I will keep the word ‘slavery’ out of my report if you do the same,” she bargained. “We will simply say he was separated for a short period and introduced to the local customs.”
“Deal,” John and Ronon agreed together.
“However,” she said, stopping them for getting out of their seats and fleeing her office. “In exchange for my silence, you will finish all of this month’s paperwork on time, suck up majorly to Rodney, and promise me you will never let him become separated and sold into slavery again.”
“Deal,” the two men repeated, standing and edging towards the door.
“And,” she added, stopping them once more. “You two are not allowed to go on any trading missions alone while Teyla’s on the mainland ever again.”
Sheppard made a face and raised a finger, getting ready for an argument, probably something along the lines of the military head of the expedition should have some rights, but was stopped by Ronon’s hand on his sleeve. “Deal,” Ronon promised, dragging the officer out of the room.
Once in the hallway, the Satedan silenced the protests with a simple, “Best offer we’re going to get.”
Sheppard straightened his shirt and rolled his eyes. “You said the same thing about those stones.”
“And I was right about those too,” Ronon argued, leading the way back down to the infirmary. Whether Rodney knew it or not, Elizabeth was right: they both had a lot of sucking up to do. Might as well get started now.
End.
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.
Title: Deal
Genre: SGA, Gen
Rating: PG
Season/Spoilers: Ronon’s in it.
Synopsis: Sheppard cleared his throat and resignedly looked exactly two feet to the right of her shoulder as he repeated, “We accidentally sold McKay into slavery.”
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, people with a lot of money do. I was just borrowing them to play and making no profit off the experience.
~~~~~~~~~~
“You did what?” Weir asked, doubt and weariness fighting with incredulousness in her tone.
Sheppard cleared his throat and resignedly looked exactly two feet to the right of her shoulder as he repeated, “We accidentally sold McKay into slavery.”
He kind of wished he had a camera to record her stunned look, not to mention the babble of half-formed words that followed until she finally managed a choked, “How?”
“We may have, er, misunderstood some of their customs, and possibly language,” John deterred.
“And this led to slavery?” Weir asked, eyes huge. If it weren’t for the fact this was technically an official briefing, he would have offered her a drink.
“We got him back!” John said defensively.
“They even gave us a discount,” Ronon chimed in.
“Not helping,” Sheppard whispered out of the corner of his mouth.
His teammate simply shrugged. “Sorry.”
“Do I even want to know what you had to do to get him back?” Elizabeth asked, holding her head in her hands.
“Actually, that part was easy,” John said cheerily. “We gave them their pretty stones back along with the sample supplies we were going to give them anyway to start up trade negotiations and plans for a possible irrigation system.”
“I drew that,” Ronon said with a nod.
The hands now covered her eyes. “And they bought it?”
“Told ‘em it was a rough draft and that we would be willing to negotiate for something better,” he shrugged.
“It was about that time that the head slave-person-thingy came in to see if we would take Rodney back,” Sheppard added, trying to steer the conversation back to what they had done right during the mission.
“Take him back?” Weir asked, lifting her head slightly to look over at them. “What did he do?” From the look on her face, she was expecting everything from begging to an inter-planetary incident.
Sheppard smiled and, eerily, so did Ronon. “Apparently the good Doctor McKay makes a terrible house slave, ordering everyone else around to do his bidding and complaining about his special food needs and such.”
“He thought everyone else was being given to him,” Ronon clarified, grin growing wider.
“So, Rodney...”
“Is perfectly fine,” John assured her.
“And he’s still in the infirmary because...?”
“Carson is stalling to give us a chance to tell you what happened,” he explained.
“And Rodney...?”
“Has no idea he was pretty much sold into slavery,” Ronon confirmed.
“We’d kind of like to keep it that way,” John winced. At her disbelieving look, he reasoned, “He thinks he was being honored with a temporary staff to see to his needs. You really want us to tell him he was actually a slave and have him hold that over our heads for the next six years?”
The corner of Elizabeth’s mouth twitched as she pointed out, “It wouldn’t be my head he’d be holding it over.”
“You think he’s going to limit it to us?” Ronon asked. “The whole city’s in for it if he finds out.”
She raised her eyebrows, seeing the truth to his words. “I will keep the word ‘slavery’ out of my report if you do the same,” she bargained. “We will simply say he was separated for a short period and introduced to the local customs.”
“Deal,” John and Ronon agreed together.
“However,” she said, stopping them for getting out of their seats and fleeing her office. “In exchange for my silence, you will finish all of this month’s paperwork on time, suck up majorly to Rodney, and promise me you will never let him become separated and sold into slavery again.”
“Deal,” the two men repeated, standing and edging towards the door.
“And,” she added, stopping them once more. “You two are not allowed to go on any trading missions alone while Teyla’s on the mainland ever again.”
Sheppard made a face and raised a finger, getting ready for an argument, probably something along the lines of the military head of the expedition should have some rights, but was stopped by Ronon’s hand on his sleeve. “Deal,” Ronon promised, dragging the officer out of the room.
Once in the hallway, the Satedan silenced the protests with a simple, “Best offer we’re going to get.”
Sheppard straightened his shirt and rolled his eyes. “You said the same thing about those stones.”
“And I was right about those too,” Ronon argued, leading the way back down to the infirmary. Whether Rodney knew it or not, Elizabeth was right: they both had a lot of sucking up to do. Might as well get started now.
End.
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.
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Hee!
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(Anonymous) 2007-12-26 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)I'm grinning to myself thinking of how else this could have gone--John would have been all 'my team have abandoned meeee!', but for Rodney, it's 'you got me staff! Yay!'
Hee. Awesome.
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Oh Rodney. So smart. So oblivious. *g*
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Re: Hee!
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And Weir negotiating paperwork for her silence. Bwhahahaha!
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I found myself reading this story, appalled that anyone would think slavery is funny and wondering where poor Rodney was during this debriefing, and then I found out what he thought was happening.
My bad. Clearly, there is at least one case where slavery is funny. Good thing Carson went along with the team so that Rodney didn't find out. I expect someone will let something slip eventually, however (probably John, in a fit of pique: "I should have just left you as a house slave!" Rodney: "What?!").
Poor Elizabeth, too. The things--and people--with which she has to deal. If it weren’t for the fact this was technically an official briefing, he would have offered her a drink.
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