cat_77 | SGA: Satedan Dating 101

Forgive me for I have committed het. Well, technically “pre-het”, but still…

Title: Satedan Dating 101

Genre: SGA, Missing Scene, Pre-Het

Rating: PG-13

Season/Spoilers: Takes place during 4.04 “Doppleganger”

Pairing: Pre-Ronon/Keller

Synopsis: Ronon has a plan. Sheppard is dragged along for the ride.

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, people with a lot of money do. I’m just playing in a solely not-for-profit way.

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“Come on, I’d do it for you,” Ronon pleaded. The pleading in and of itself was on the odd side and really should have clued him in to the fact this would probably not end well.

Sheppard shook his head. “I don’t know what kind of weird mating rituals you had on Sateda, but I’m not fighting you for Keller.” He had been getting ready for bed after what had turned out to be a long day when his teammate came chiming at his door. That was about ten minutes ago, and he still was not certain just what in the hell he was asking.

“Not fight,” the large man insisted. “Just look like we fought.”

“And how is me getting my ass kicked supposed to make you look good in her eyes?” John tried. Everyone in the city knew Ronon was the best fighter. Him taking on his team leader was not going to change that, especially if the plan was to have his team leader go down.

“Not you, me,” Ronon clarified.

That got a chuckle out of John. “No one’s going to believe I won against you unless you were dying and I was possessed, and even then it’s a bit on the iffy side.”

Ronon huffed, clearly getting flustered. He broke it down to its simplest form, explaining, “You hit me. I bleed. We go to the infirmary where Keller stitches me up.”

“And you have a chance to get your flirt on, okay, I get it,” John relented, starting to get what the other man was saying. “But isn’t there an easier way? Possibly one with less blood and chance of brain injury?”

Ronon looked at him like he was stupid. This was more familiar territory. “Like what?”

Sheppard searched his mind for something, anything, his hands grabbing the air as if it would materialize with a thought. “Flowers! How about flowers? Women love ‘em.”

“On Sateda, that’s a sign of mourning.”

“Really?” John asked doubtingly, lowering his hands. Sometimes it was easy to forget his friend was an alien.

“A sign of life to replace the death. When the flowers die, they go to the one you lost,” Ronon shrugged.

“Jewelry?”

“I could make her a necklace of Wraith bones,” the large man’s face lit up.

“Er, no,” John hedged, imagining the doctor’s response to that. “Clothing? A scarf or something?”

“A bond gift like that is kinda forward before the first date,” Ronon winced. He looked like he had personal experience with such things, and it was not of the positive type. “Plus, Teyla says it’s rude to guess a woman’s size.”

“Food?”

“Weir said I couldn’t go through the gate to hunt the alescka to make the traditional stew,” he said forlornly.

“Yeah...” John agreed, not even wanting to know what that was. “Pretty sure Carter won’t let you hunt anything for mating purposes either. So, what does that leave us with?”

Ronon seemed to think about it for a moment before shrugging, “I think we’re back to blood.”

“I was afraid of that,” Sheppard sighed resignedly. He grabbed the set of bantos rods Teyla had gifted her teammates with last year and gestured towards the general direction of the gym. “Let’s make this look convincing and, remember, you so owe me one.”

“Deal,” Ronon agreed, leading the way out the door.

Sheppard just shook his head, thinking of all the ways this could go horribly wrong, the least of which being Ronon kicking his ass when Keller said no, or Keller kicking his ass when she said yes. On the upside, though, if Keller did say yes, or even seemed responsive to alien dating techniques, the next few sparring sessions with Ronon should be pretty awesome. He spun the rods in his hands, figuring there was only one way to find out.

End.

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Feedback is always welcome.

SGA: Satedan Dating 101

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