![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
SGA - Cerise's Caress
I am posting this a bit early as I am about to leave on a trip and won't be around for the festival of crack. The story was written for the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
team_sga April Fool's Day Challenge. The wonderful ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
threnodyjones did beta duty, but I made adjustments after she had her look through it. Any and all remaining errors are mine.
Edit:threnodyjones would like you to know she was scarred for life betaing this fic. :)
Title: Cerise’s Caress
Genre: SGA, AU, Team, Crack
Season/Spoilers: Ronon’s in it, as is Weir.
Rating: PG-13 for mild language
Synopsis: Teyla’s been attacked, and her teammates will do what is needed to make things right.
Author's Note: Er, sorry?
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, people with a lot of money do. This is probably for the best. No profit was made.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Teyla is not amused.”
These were the first words out of Radek’s mouth when Rodney arrived in the labs. Rodney’s first response to this declaration was, of course, “Oh, shit.” He had heard rumors of what might happen, but didn’t think anyone was dumb enough to go through with it.
There was much snickering and giggling from the background players, right up until the point Rodney declared, “She takes it out on me and I take it out on you.” Suddenly, the various underlings were aflutter, either studiously working on projects or, in some cases, out and out pulling up plans to resolve the issue on the off chance he could not do so himself. He loved it when they sucked up.
Snapping his fingers, he went around the room, pointing and ordering, “You go through the security feeds to see if whoever did this was stupid enough to get caught, you go through the supply manifest to see what they used, and you look for any power fluctuations we can track so we have evidence to back this up. I will deal with her. Also, you so owe me.”
He stormed towards the door, hearing one of the minions comment, “He is a brave, brave man.”
Keying his radio, he called, “Sheppard, get Ronon and meet me at Teyla’s room. Yes, some moron thought it would be funny. Yes, you can have them when I’m done with them.”
As he disappeared down the hallway, he just make out Radek’s, “Brave, yes. Stupid, no.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Rodney met John and Ronon outside of Teyla’s quarters, finding the other two pacing, but hesitant to enter. “How bad?” Sheppard demanded, his long fingers already tapping the weapon at his side.
“I honestly don’t know,” Rodney admitted. “Someone got her and from the rumors going around beforehand it was most likely from Caldwell’s group. They were either too stupid or too afraid to go after the rest of us. My people are on it.”
John sighed, running a hand through his wild hair. “How many times do we have to tell them we have to work together out here? What might be funny to them does not necessarily translate across to the Pegasus galaxy natives! Customs are different and not respecting that is just going to piss people off!” He paused, making a face. Clearly Elizabeth was having an influence on all of them if he was randomly quoting her lectures on his own with no prompting.
“And really, Teyla is the wrong one to piss off,” McKay agreed in an aside.
“We just going to talk about it, or are we going to go see if we can help her?” Ronon asked, gesturing at the door.
Even though he could have just opened the door himself, Rodney knocked, calling, “Teyla, it’s us. Let us in...”
“I do not wish to be seen like this, please go away,” came the muffled response. The thing most disturbing was that there was an edge to her tone that made it sound suspiciously like she had been crying.
John’s face hardened. “Screw this,” he declared. “Teyla, we’re coming in,” he warned before overriding her control on the door with a thought. The trio stormed in, only to stop dead in their tracks.
“Oh, this is bad,” Rodney muttered, taking in the scene.
Teyla stood in the center of her quarters, and to say she was livid would be an understatement. In stark contrast to the gentle, neutral woodland color scheme of her room, the warm dark greens and blues she loved so much, she was a near cotton-candy colored pink, head to toe. Gone was the leather bodice and weaponry. Pink gossamer fabric flowed over her tanned skin, which itself seemed to be taking on a decidedly rosy hue. Her weapons’ sheaths were carefully embroidered with the Lantean equivalent of lady slippers and posies, and seemed to carry silver filigreed wands and flowers instead of blades. As if that was not enough of an affront, even her delicate wings were shimmering in corals and purples, covered in something that looked frighteningly like glitter.
“You’re... pink...” John exhaled in horror. He looked behind him to his own wings as if afraid they too would be affected just from being in her presence. Thankfully, they were still their standard green-brown with veins of blue running through them. His usual black clothing remained as well, but he was clearly afraid to get too close, just in case.
“It’s the color of death,” Ronon intoned solemnly, folding his own dark wings around him. His leather leggings and jerkin were unaffected, but Rodney did not miss him fingering one of his knives protectively. Hopefully no one was stupid enough to try this with him; it would be a disaster and most likely would involve bloodshed. Then again, considering they were insane enough to try this with Teyla, it was all up in the air now.
“Why would someone do such a thing?” Rodney demanded. “Who could do such a thing? I mean, you’re Teyla! And a Queen! Or at least the closest thing we have to one out here. You can defend yourself against practically anything!”
“Anything except Elven magic,” she said darkly, looking pointedly at John and Rodney’s tipped ears.
“No, no, no,” John protested. “I’m only part elf, you know this!”
“And I’m only part because of Carson and his magic!” Rodney quickly chimed in, one hand brushing across his formerly rounded ears. He backed up slightly, wings twitching franticly behind him. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to take off. That so would not help his case in the anti-guilt department.
She stalked towards them, leaving a trail of glitter in her wake. Oddly, she also seemed to jingle when she moved. “And yet, you two are the most powerful users of Elven magic in this city,” she accused with an eerie calm.
John held up a hand in self defense. “Now wait just a minute here, you know we would never do anything to hurt you,” he protested. “You also know that enough of the weaker Elf-bloods together can do almost as much as I can do alone.”
Rodney snapped his fingers, one of his data pads instantly appearing in his other hand. Looking at the readouts, he added, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” Holding it out now for the others to see, he pointed to an area of particular interest. “Here,” he said, taping the glowing symbols.
“Is that what I think it is?” John asked, voice mixed with both disgust and awe.
Rodney nodded. “Thirteen E-gene positives, all with Daedalus transmitters, all gathered near the crystal nexus.”
Ronon swung his sword up into his hand, wings unfurled to their widest as he rolled the hilt in his fingers. “I say we take them down.”
“We can’t kill them for a prank,” Sheppard reasoned. “Not to mention the risk to the nexus, even if they are wasting its power on cheap stunts.”
The larger fairy glared. “They covered her in death,” he countered.
John shook his head. “In our culture, pink is supposed to be all delicate and light. A pansy color instead of being strong like Teyla usually is. It was probably just supposed to be a joke.”
“Your culture is stupid,” Ronon shrugged. Rodney kind of agreed.
“Death is as fleeting as life,” Teyla commented as she began to pace, a whirlwind of shimmering pink haze. “To take a warrior, a Queen, and to say she is as fragile as the veil between the worlds... It is a great insult.”
“Then we get them back,” Rodney suggested with a manic grin.
John sighed, resisting the urge to run a hand through his hair again. “Do I even want to know?”
“Think about it!” McKay tried, starting to pace. The others backed up a bit so as not to be hit by his brilliantly blue wings which were flapping happily once more. He had a tendency to get hyper-focused when working on things, and could not be distracted by little things like whapping people in the face by accident as he strode by.
“Thinking, still don’t see it,” John replied, taking another step back as Rodney whipped around for another circuit.
“They’re around the nexus, right?” Rodney prompted, getting the expected nods. “A place very easy for you to lock down from the control room. Key in to the security systems and slap a few iron bars down around them so they can’t go anywhere. It might also distract them enough to weaken whatever it is that they are doing. Atlantis’ Elven security systems should have no problem trapping a few fairies, even with their mixed blood, especially if Sheppard and I work together. Then, all we need to do is reverse the spell and send it back to them!”
“You want to turn them pink?” Sheppard asked doubtingly.
“Fair is fair,” Rodney pointed out. “Besides, think of the look on Caldwell’s face when presented with a baker’s dozen of his very own pom-pom pink troops.”
“I like it,” Ronon grinned. “They gave her death, and we give it back to them.”
Teyla, however, was biting her lip, deep in thought. “It will be most difficult, and require a high level of concentration made, of course, more problematic by my own distraught state. I may need Elizabeth’s assistance as a fellow Queen to gather enough power for this.” Elizabeth was not officially a Queen but, again, was one of the closest they had out here. She was powerful on Earth, as Teyla herself was on Athos, and the two of them together had proven to be a formidable force; enough so that the honorary title had been given to them both.
“You’ll have hers, and ours,” Rodney guaranteed.
“We haven’t even asked her yet,” John pointed out.
Rodney brushed off the concern, even though the female fairies were notoriously temperamental and usually had to be approached with caution if you wanted anything out of them. “It’s a diplomatic incident she has the power to correct. Not to mention the alternative is to let Ronon at ‘em. I’m betting she’ll go for pink soldiers over bloodshed, but maybe that’s just me.”
“It would be amusing to send a pink squadron back on the Daedalus, though the cammo would clash with the armament” John mused with a raised eyebrow.
“There is nothing about this that is amusing!” Teyla protested. Ronon was at her side, not actually touching her, of course, but still glaring at the situation.
“Oh, no, not amusing, er, more like ‘righteously just’...” he soothed. She looked at him doubtingly, but backed down, as did her protective teammate. Trying to change the subject, he turned to Rodney and asked, “So you think you can figure out how to break the spell and reverse it?”
The other fairy was typing dutifully away on his data pad. “We should be able to trace back what was done by the imprint it left on the nexus. Reversing it and implementing it on the idiots who did this is going to take a bit of doing though.” He looked up a pleased smirk on his features. “How do you feel about using their own energy against them? Draining them a bit to both fix this and do it to them as well? They’d already have the pathways in place and it wouldn’t put as much strain on the nexus, even though it’s self-regenerating.”
“Dim them down a little before bringing them back up in Technicolor?” John guessed.
“Something like that,” Rodney agreed with a full-fledged grin. He typed in a few more commands, finalizing his plan. Turning to the still fuming Teyla, he then asked in all seriousness, “Which is more offensive, dusty rose or hot pink?”
End.
~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note: Cerise is one of many shades of the color pink.
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.
team_sga April Fool's Day Challenge. The wonderful threnodyjones did beta duty, but I made adjustments after she had her look through it. Any and all remaining errors are mine.Edit:
threnodyjones would like you to know she was scarred for life betaing this fic. :)Title: Cerise’s Caress
Genre: SGA, AU, Team, Crack
Season/Spoilers: Ronon’s in it, as is Weir.
Rating: PG-13 for mild language
Synopsis: Teyla’s been attacked, and her teammates will do what is needed to make things right.
Author's Note: Er, sorry?
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, people with a lot of money do. This is probably for the best. No profit was made.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Teyla is not amused.”
These were the first words out of Radek’s mouth when Rodney arrived in the labs. Rodney’s first response to this declaration was, of course, “Oh, shit.” He had heard rumors of what might happen, but didn’t think anyone was dumb enough to go through with it.
There was much snickering and giggling from the background players, right up until the point Rodney declared, “She takes it out on me and I take it out on you.” Suddenly, the various underlings were aflutter, either studiously working on projects or, in some cases, out and out pulling up plans to resolve the issue on the off chance he could not do so himself. He loved it when they sucked up.
Snapping his fingers, he went around the room, pointing and ordering, “You go through the security feeds to see if whoever did this was stupid enough to get caught, you go through the supply manifest to see what they used, and you look for any power fluctuations we can track so we have evidence to back this up. I will deal with her. Also, you so owe me.”
He stormed towards the door, hearing one of the minions comment, “He is a brave, brave man.”
Keying his radio, he called, “Sheppard, get Ronon and meet me at Teyla’s room. Yes, some moron thought it would be funny. Yes, you can have them when I’m done with them.”
As he disappeared down the hallway, he just make out Radek’s, “Brave, yes. Stupid, no.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Rodney met John and Ronon outside of Teyla’s quarters, finding the other two pacing, but hesitant to enter. “How bad?” Sheppard demanded, his long fingers already tapping the weapon at his side.
“I honestly don’t know,” Rodney admitted. “Someone got her and from the rumors going around beforehand it was most likely from Caldwell’s group. They were either too stupid or too afraid to go after the rest of us. My people are on it.”
John sighed, running a hand through his wild hair. “How many times do we have to tell them we have to work together out here? What might be funny to them does not necessarily translate across to the Pegasus galaxy natives! Customs are different and not respecting that is just going to piss people off!” He paused, making a face. Clearly Elizabeth was having an influence on all of them if he was randomly quoting her lectures on his own with no prompting.
“And really, Teyla is the wrong one to piss off,” McKay agreed in an aside.
“We just going to talk about it, or are we going to go see if we can help her?” Ronon asked, gesturing at the door.
Even though he could have just opened the door himself, Rodney knocked, calling, “Teyla, it’s us. Let us in...”
“I do not wish to be seen like this, please go away,” came the muffled response. The thing most disturbing was that there was an edge to her tone that made it sound suspiciously like she had been crying.
John’s face hardened. “Screw this,” he declared. “Teyla, we’re coming in,” he warned before overriding her control on the door with a thought. The trio stormed in, only to stop dead in their tracks.
“Oh, this is bad,” Rodney muttered, taking in the scene.
Teyla stood in the center of her quarters, and to say she was livid would be an understatement. In stark contrast to the gentle, neutral woodland color scheme of her room, the warm dark greens and blues she loved so much, she was a near cotton-candy colored pink, head to toe. Gone was the leather bodice and weaponry. Pink gossamer fabric flowed over her tanned skin, which itself seemed to be taking on a decidedly rosy hue. Her weapons’ sheaths were carefully embroidered with the Lantean equivalent of lady slippers and posies, and seemed to carry silver filigreed wands and flowers instead of blades. As if that was not enough of an affront, even her delicate wings were shimmering in corals and purples, covered in something that looked frighteningly like glitter.
“You’re... pink...” John exhaled in horror. He looked behind him to his own wings as if afraid they too would be affected just from being in her presence. Thankfully, they were still their standard green-brown with veins of blue running through them. His usual black clothing remained as well, but he was clearly afraid to get too close, just in case.
“It’s the color of death,” Ronon intoned solemnly, folding his own dark wings around him. His leather leggings and jerkin were unaffected, but Rodney did not miss him fingering one of his knives protectively. Hopefully no one was stupid enough to try this with him; it would be a disaster and most likely would involve bloodshed. Then again, considering they were insane enough to try this with Teyla, it was all up in the air now.
“Why would someone do such a thing?” Rodney demanded. “Who could do such a thing? I mean, you’re Teyla! And a Queen! Or at least the closest thing we have to one out here. You can defend yourself against practically anything!”
“Anything except Elven magic,” she said darkly, looking pointedly at John and Rodney’s tipped ears.
“No, no, no,” John protested. “I’m only part elf, you know this!”
“And I’m only part because of Carson and his magic!” Rodney quickly chimed in, one hand brushing across his formerly rounded ears. He backed up slightly, wings twitching franticly behind him. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to take off. That so would not help his case in the anti-guilt department.
She stalked towards them, leaving a trail of glitter in her wake. Oddly, she also seemed to jingle when she moved. “And yet, you two are the most powerful users of Elven magic in this city,” she accused with an eerie calm.
John held up a hand in self defense. “Now wait just a minute here, you know we would never do anything to hurt you,” he protested. “You also know that enough of the weaker Elf-bloods together can do almost as much as I can do alone.”
Rodney snapped his fingers, one of his data pads instantly appearing in his other hand. Looking at the readouts, he added, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” Holding it out now for the others to see, he pointed to an area of particular interest. “Here,” he said, taping the glowing symbols.
“Is that what I think it is?” John asked, voice mixed with both disgust and awe.
Rodney nodded. “Thirteen E-gene positives, all with Daedalus transmitters, all gathered near the crystal nexus.”
Ronon swung his sword up into his hand, wings unfurled to their widest as he rolled the hilt in his fingers. “I say we take them down.”
“We can’t kill them for a prank,” Sheppard reasoned. “Not to mention the risk to the nexus, even if they are wasting its power on cheap stunts.”
The larger fairy glared. “They covered her in death,” he countered.
John shook his head. “In our culture, pink is supposed to be all delicate and light. A pansy color instead of being strong like Teyla usually is. It was probably just supposed to be a joke.”
“Your culture is stupid,” Ronon shrugged. Rodney kind of agreed.
“Death is as fleeting as life,” Teyla commented as she began to pace, a whirlwind of shimmering pink haze. “To take a warrior, a Queen, and to say she is as fragile as the veil between the worlds... It is a great insult.”
“Then we get them back,” Rodney suggested with a manic grin.
John sighed, resisting the urge to run a hand through his hair again. “Do I even want to know?”
“Think about it!” McKay tried, starting to pace. The others backed up a bit so as not to be hit by his brilliantly blue wings which were flapping happily once more. He had a tendency to get hyper-focused when working on things, and could not be distracted by little things like whapping people in the face by accident as he strode by.
“Thinking, still don’t see it,” John replied, taking another step back as Rodney whipped around for another circuit.
“They’re around the nexus, right?” Rodney prompted, getting the expected nods. “A place very easy for you to lock down from the control room. Key in to the security systems and slap a few iron bars down around them so they can’t go anywhere. It might also distract them enough to weaken whatever it is that they are doing. Atlantis’ Elven security systems should have no problem trapping a few fairies, even with their mixed blood, especially if Sheppard and I work together. Then, all we need to do is reverse the spell and send it back to them!”
“You want to turn them pink?” Sheppard asked doubtingly.
“Fair is fair,” Rodney pointed out. “Besides, think of the look on Caldwell’s face when presented with a baker’s dozen of his very own pom-pom pink troops.”
“I like it,” Ronon grinned. “They gave her death, and we give it back to them.”
Teyla, however, was biting her lip, deep in thought. “It will be most difficult, and require a high level of concentration made, of course, more problematic by my own distraught state. I may need Elizabeth’s assistance as a fellow Queen to gather enough power for this.” Elizabeth was not officially a Queen but, again, was one of the closest they had out here. She was powerful on Earth, as Teyla herself was on Athos, and the two of them together had proven to be a formidable force; enough so that the honorary title had been given to them both.
“You’ll have hers, and ours,” Rodney guaranteed.
“We haven’t even asked her yet,” John pointed out.
Rodney brushed off the concern, even though the female fairies were notoriously temperamental and usually had to be approached with caution if you wanted anything out of them. “It’s a diplomatic incident she has the power to correct. Not to mention the alternative is to let Ronon at ‘em. I’m betting she’ll go for pink soldiers over bloodshed, but maybe that’s just me.”
“It would be amusing to send a pink squadron back on the Daedalus, though the cammo would clash with the armament” John mused with a raised eyebrow.
“There is nothing about this that is amusing!” Teyla protested. Ronon was at her side, not actually touching her, of course, but still glaring at the situation.
“Oh, no, not amusing, er, more like ‘righteously just’...” he soothed. She looked at him doubtingly, but backed down, as did her protective teammate. Trying to change the subject, he turned to Rodney and asked, “So you think you can figure out how to break the spell and reverse it?”
The other fairy was typing dutifully away on his data pad. “We should be able to trace back what was done by the imprint it left on the nexus. Reversing it and implementing it on the idiots who did this is going to take a bit of doing though.” He looked up a pleased smirk on his features. “How do you feel about using their own energy against them? Draining them a bit to both fix this and do it to them as well? They’d already have the pathways in place and it wouldn’t put as much strain on the nexus, even though it’s self-regenerating.”
“Dim them down a little before bringing them back up in Technicolor?” John guessed.
“Something like that,” Rodney agreed with a full-fledged grin. He typed in a few more commands, finalizing his plan. Turning to the still fuming Teyla, he then asked in all seriousness, “Which is more offensive, dusty rose or hot pink?”
End.
~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note: Cerise is one of many shades of the color pink.
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.
no subject
“You’re... pink...” John exhaled in horror.
Oh, John! The horror, the horror! *g*
(I love Rodney's interactions with his underlings, too - should have twigged to the premise with the various underlings were aflutter. *laughs*)
no subject
Thank you again for posting this while I was gone! You rock!
no subject
*glees with childish delight*
If he wasn’t careful, he was going to take off.
I LOL'd.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Yes, I am trying to keep your mail box clogged!)
♥ me
no subject
[And I'll edit to add that - mainly because it amuses me]
no subject
*snickers*
I love it. They are so true to character, but also to their fairy (and elven) self.
Thanks for sharing :)
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
*howls thinking about all their wings* Fairies. Oh, I love you.
'I'm only part elf' *collapses laughing*
no subject
So glad you liked it!